I Swing the Vorpal Spork of Irony like some Hyperborean Usurper through the Hordes of the Unwashed.



Thursday, April 1, 2010

Halfling Insult Bard

....needs your help. I went ahead and did it folks. I'm actually playing a character that isn't a Dwarf, and I'm loving it.
It was a running joke at the "Store" that I only play Dwarf fighters with green skin. Which was true (I'll tackle the green thing later). So for the D&D Encounters I decided to do something different. A Halfling Bard with a Tuba was my first choice. Upon reflection I thought a Halfling Comic Bard might be cool, of course my favorite comic is Don Rickles. So the Halfling Insult Bard was born, his name: Rickles, of course.
Here is where the Help is required. I need material. I've found that Yo' momma jokes are lost on most monsters who don't know who there mothers are. Also, I stopped making up dirty limericks almost 30yrs ago, so I'm a little rusty. Any submissions with a D&D flavor would be greatly appreciated.

3 comments:

  1. lol love it!

    mealy-mouthed crotch pheasant was always a favorite (Stewie from Family Guy)

    My suggestion is to just read the Tintin books and grab a bunch of Haddock’s barbs.

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  2. Sorry, I don't have anything to offer you right now, I just wanted to say that I thought that was a great character.

    -Tourq

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  3. I know this is an old post, but I thought I should let you know I may have nicked your halfling bard with a tuba idea (actually I made her up myself and then remembered later that you posted this ages ago). Maybe someday you'll get to meet Allegro Hornblower, spunky spazz bard to the stars!

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Let me know what you think. Please watch the language.