I Swing the Vorpal Spork of Irony like some Hyperborean Usurper through the Hordes of the Unwashed.

Friday, March 30, 2012

Random Harlot Table; Finally After Thirty-Three Years

     I was playing Pathfinder on Tuesday, when an amazing planetary alignment occurred. My 4th Level Wizard, Murduck the Dabbler, was be-friended by a Lady of the Evening. While fleshing out this NPC one the Old-Timers suggested we consult the Random Harlot table of the "AD&D Dungeon Masters Guide".
     Like many pubescent nerds in 1980, I pored through this amazing Tome with a zeal rivaled only by those Playboys my Dad had hidden in the Garage. I recall reading the table and wondering vaguely what a harlot or a courtesan was. Certainly this info was cataloged and forgotten until Tuesday. Of course this is the kinda shit us old nerds live for.
     Fortunately, we were at Backlist Books, and several copies were on hand. The original table is on page 192, if you have one. But, I will recreate it here for those who don't. Thank You Charlie for remembering and Mr. Gygax for the many years of fun.

01-10 Slovenly trull
11-25 Brazen strumpet
26-35 Cheap trollop
36-50 Typical streetwalker
51-65 Saucy tart
66-75 Wanton wench
76-82 Expensive doxy
86-90 Haughty courtesan
91-92 Aged madam
93-94 Wealthy procuress
95-98 Sly pimp
99-00 Rich panderer

P.S. I rolled a Typical streetwalker, but was hoping for an Expensive doxy at least.


  1. shizzit, this is great, back in the day our pubescent campaigns had a retail chain of 'whore stores' called "The Crimson Torch", where we rolled on this table to see what 'lady friend' we could get for the evening, she always came with clues about our adventures. The higher the roll the more expensive the night (clue) was...

    1. Priceless. I'm sure "Crimson Torch" refered to the painful and bloody urination that the PC's had after leaving.


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